First Person: Memories of Fear Still Vivid After Service in Iraq

As we near the 10-year anniversary of the start of the war in Iraq, Yahoo News asked U.S. servicemen and women who served to share their perspectives and discuss how it changed them. Here's one story.

FIRST PERSON | My story starts like many others. I felt the need to serve our country like my father during Vietnam and grandfather during Korea. I joined the Air Force in 1989 to live my dream of working on aircraft.

By the time the Iraq War started, I already served 14 years and was a well-seasoned and experienced non-commissioned officer. I had been part of nearly every U.S. conflict since 1989. I specialized in repairing aircraft stranded away from their assigned stations as part of a small team that would hop in fix aircraft and hop back out most of the time on the same aircraft we just repaired. Time was always critical in mitigating the potential of attack or further damage to the aircraft.

On one of my early trips into country, the airfield was being mortared. After taking cover, I could see a young troop who took cover under a fuel truck. Why there? So afraid it seemed like a logical place. What I remember most about him was the look of terror on his face. When it was all over, thankfully he didn't get hit, but he cried near uncontrollably. He was told to see the medic. I never did see him again, although I see his face often when I think of what fear looks like.

Another moment that sticks with me, again while being mortared, was when a troop didn't take cover but just sat down on the ground and smoked a cigarette with explosions coming within 30 meters of him. Not a scratch. When asked why he didn't take cover, he replied, "We get hit with mortars every day. I'm tired of it. If one hits me, it was meant to be." I think of him when thinking of what it means to be fearless. Then again, there is a fine line between fearlessness and stupidity.

Later, we heard that a mortar had struck a barracks, killing and wounding several. By that point, if I didn't know them, I didn't care. Just more fuel for anger toward the people who lived in the "Cradle of Civilization." Why are they doing these things to the people that are trying to help them?

I have always been thankful that I and the troops I worked with only experienced minor injuries during our trips, but not all wounds are the ones you can see. Although I never lost a troop in support of combat operations, I did, unfortunately, lose a couple by their own hand after returning home. They don't get counted as an official war casualties, but they are casualties of Iraq all the same.

After a transfer and switching to a different airframe my duties rarely took me in to the country of Iraq, but still supported operations there and Afghanistan.

Now that I have retired from active duty, I am fortunate to still repair and maintain war birds.

I am reminded of my service every day with a limp, caused by a broken pelvis found just prior to my retirement. I don't remember the pain of breaking bones, but I do remember the pain of fear on the faces of troops during mortar attacks. The pain on the faces of family members at their son's funeral who committed suicide shortly after returning home. That pain hurts worse than any injury.

My story is like many others. It is filled with loss, witness to valor and selfless service. Most of all it is filled with pride for my brothers and sister in arms, past and present.

Source: http://news.yahoo.com/first-person-memories-fear-still-vivid-iraq-182900540.html

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